So I applied.
Then got accepted. (Applied Theology with Pastoral Leadership)
And then the rubber hits the road.  How in fact do I really plan to make this all work?  I keep telling myself not to worry, but then that's what I am.  I'm a bit of a worrier.  I like to have all my ducks in a row and I like to know if one of them is not a duck but is in fact an emu.  And I'm quickly learning that ducks (& emu) aren't fussed on rows.
Two orientation days back to back started this adventure, and we ticked those off and it all seemed to work.  This week I started for reals.
Sunday night "Mum, I have a headache...." says Stealth-bomber.
Me, "Have some pamol, and here's a flannel, now get some rest - we have a big day tomorrow" {which actually means, 'don't be sick, just get well fast or the wheels are going to fall off Mama's wagon}.  Selfish much?  Yes, yes.
Monday morning "Mum, my legs are sore..." says the same dude.
Reach out for a cuddle whereupon my hands meet some child's flesh that is quite a bit warmer than normal.
Me:  "Are you ok?  Have you just woken up? Where's your brother?  Other man-child, come here for comparison".  Hands from Stealth-bombers head to Larry-boy's head and back again.  Hmm...  It's a fever.
I knew it!  None of this starting slow crap, lets just throw a fever in right up front eh!  Argh!  I can't believe this.  Yes I can, I totally expected this! "Poor kid, come lay down and we'll see what we're going to do with you today".  Now my eyebrows have become a mono-brow while I work out my options.  Skip lecture?  The first one?  Not a great idea.  Take the bio-heater with me?  Hmm....  I don't want to be 'that' Mum just yet.  Ok, fire off text to Mum and sis.  Bless them!  They both can help.  The long and short of it is that he goes to work with my sis and hangs out reading in a 'quiet room'.  If this was either the oldest or youngest child this would not fly.  So there's the silver lining right?
Before you ring me to tell me to suck it up princess (which is something my pastor would say to me!), I know!  I know.  I am following in the footsteps of many who have gone before me.  Plus I have the recent example of my cuzzie who just did a 4 year degree in 3 years (midwifery) with 3 kids and she survived.  And my friend is doing the same one and she still has time to play with her kids!  How, I don't know.
Each year Carey chooses a 'theme' for the year in chapel.  And this year's theme couldn't have been more suited for me.  Almost like it was just for me!
I felt about 3 years ago, maybe 4, that God was inviting me to stop 'doing' and start 'sitting' with Him.  However, for a doer, that's not easy.  Sitting becomes one more thing to DO on the to do list.
I've been doing study part time since then, 1 measly paper at a time.  And it has been life-giving and despite the 'work' side of it has really helped me to do exactly what our theme says: stop | pause | listen.  
And now that I've dived in for reals and am doing it almost full time I realise that this time for stopping/pausing/thinking may well get sucked into academics if I'm not ultra careful.  I realised that I work well under pressure (I don't like it, but I do get the job done) but that is a recipe for disaster for the years ahead.  So I have to learn something my Grandma taught me when I was a very young girl.  

A stitch in time saves nine.

Or, don't put off till tomorrow what can be done today.  

So with this thought in mind, I intend to run out and jump on the tramp in the rain with my kids when the moment seizes me rather than waiting till it seems like I have more time (like we did the other day, and the JOY on their faces...) It means if I have a spare hour I will do my readings.  It means that I'll prepare in the 'quiet' and not in the 'last minute'.  Unfortunately my husband is reading this and will likely bring this up with me next week at some point in the future...

But hey, I'm just human right?  Never was and never will be Wonder Woman.

So it's about giving oneself permission to learn... Learn from my failures, learn from those around me, and even learn from my successes.

P.S. Stealth-bomber is fine too ;)


  1. Bloody hard work this working thing eh! Just reinforces why we are regarded as super Moms!

    1. Totally! We can do it though eh, just one day at a time... or maybe half an hour at a time?


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